How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
