Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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