Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
