you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize