Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
