Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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