Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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