that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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