Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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