Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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