i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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