you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
