u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
