well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
