i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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