he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
