There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
