he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
