nut hugger
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
