He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
