He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
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I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
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And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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