i jhust puked up my retainher.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
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