Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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