The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
