Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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