Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize