Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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