yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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