Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
