well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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