At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
