i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
His hands were made for my vagina.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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