So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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