So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize