OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm passing your future prison.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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