I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize