Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
