The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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