I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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