PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
