I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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