Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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