Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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