I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
