Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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