if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize