I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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