yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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