Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
