I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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