We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
