Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
NoShamevember. You game?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
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My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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