Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
