wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
