take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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