You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
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I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
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I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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