I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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