GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
