i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
