why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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