Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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