They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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